Long time no post

So, I've definitely been breaking the 1 post a week thing. I think a lot of that has been depression, with a big dose of doing way too much. So, I haven't really had a lot of brain for writing. But I'm not going to abandon this blog (besides, Daddy would kill me if I did).

This is mostly just a post to let people know that I am actually back. While I've been gone, I've been talking to a psychologist, about my depression, and I've gone on antidepressants (in fact, I've recently upped my dose). I'm hoping that the drugs'll work their magic again soon, and I can get back to being more writey. Talking with my psychologist has been helping too, in particular, we've been trying to get me to think past my more childish thought processes (Oh, did you think I was just playing a boy? Oh no...). It's been a lot of hard work, but I am forever optimistic.

Mostly because I do feel like I'm starting to grow up now. A lot of people say that they feel like they're not adults, that they're just pretending, and they're afraid that people will come in at any moment and notice. I've often thought that about myself, but I think I'm actually starting to feel like an adult. Now, this doesn't make me less of a boy, and I will always hold onto that boyish perspective in my head. But I feel more like I can move past that perspective in my everyday life when I need to.

And that leads me into my next post, because as I'm growing up, I want to follow in my Daddy's footsteps, and go through an explicit coming of age rite. Like my Daddy, I'm a big believer in rituals (although not always for the same reasons), and I think a proper, full ritual will help me hold onto this feeling of adultness. I'm going to talk to my psychologist today about what kind of trials such a ritual might hold. I'm a bit nervous, truth be told, because I'm not sure he's going to completely understand what I'm asking for. Still, I want the input, and if you can't ask your psychologist, who can you ask?

More tonight, I think.