This week, me and Daddy have officially decided that I'm to start from scratch again as a Leather Boy. I've written before that I've not really been much a part of the Leather community, and I often feel like I've kinda ridden on my Daddy's coattails, so now I get the chance to earn my leathers, for real this time.
So, that means giving up the leathers I have for the time being. My pants, my harness, my boots, leather collar and my belt, everything, and I won't be getting them back until I've earnt them again.
I have to admit, I'm actually terrified as hell to be starting this. I've stated previously that I have a serious issue with actually getting involved in stuff, this is really a first foray into actually committing to Leather. I had a cry to Daddy about how scared I am that I'm going to mess up everything and that I'm a terrible Leather boy, and I'm not sure I can live up to HILT, etc etc.
But, scared as I am, I am doing this. The tenets of Leather are something that I genuinely want for myself. I want to be more open, trusting, honest with the world. Leather might actually help me get these things. Daddy is sometimes worried I'm just doing this for him, that I don't actually want to do Leather for myself. But I'm doing this because I want to be a better boy, and I think Leather can do that for me.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Sometimes you just need a white knight
Daddies are as much for protection as they are about serving.
Yesterday I was out with my family, and I had decided that, instead of them driving me home, I would just take the train home. After I had decided this, of course, I started getting brainshocks, and I realised that I had forgotten to take my medication the previous night. I texted Daddy this, Daddy offered to pick me up from the nearest station.
Then I got into the city, and the trains were in all manner of mess and confusion. After half an hour, I gave up and asked Daddy to pick me up from the city instead, which he happily said he'd do. Alas, there was all manner of construction works and tramworks outside the station (that I'd been unaware of), which meant that he couldn't quite get to the station to pick me up! And seeing as a driver has limited means of communication, there was the inevitable stress of not knowing what's happening where.
But we finally managed, and Daddy picked me up. But the stress of seeing my family, as well as my emotions going haywire after missing my dose, meant that I was a total mess. Daddy decided to treat me to chicken, and he was there as I just broke down.
Sometimes, you forget that the Daddy/boy relationship isn't just one-way. A boy job, yes, is to serve his Daddy, and make his life easier, but a Daddy's job is to take care of his Boy, to be there if he is in trouble, and needs help. Yesterday was a very real reminder that yes, my Daddy does do that job for me, that when I need him, when I can't deal with the world, he's there with a shoulder to cry on, and chicken to form a safe space (it's a long story), because that's what Daddies do.
Yesterday I was out with my family, and I had decided that, instead of them driving me home, I would just take the train home. After I had decided this, of course, I started getting brainshocks, and I realised that I had forgotten to take my medication the previous night. I texted Daddy this, Daddy offered to pick me up from the nearest station.
Then I got into the city, and the trains were in all manner of mess and confusion. After half an hour, I gave up and asked Daddy to pick me up from the city instead, which he happily said he'd do. Alas, there was all manner of construction works and tramworks outside the station (that I'd been unaware of), which meant that he couldn't quite get to the station to pick me up! And seeing as a driver has limited means of communication, there was the inevitable stress of not knowing what's happening where.
But we finally managed, and Daddy picked me up. But the stress of seeing my family, as well as my emotions going haywire after missing my dose, meant that I was a total mess. Daddy decided to treat me to chicken, and he was there as I just broke down.
Sometimes, you forget that the Daddy/boy relationship isn't just one-way. A boy job, yes, is to serve his Daddy, and make his life easier, but a Daddy's job is to take care of his Boy, to be there if he is in trouble, and needs help. Yesterday was a very real reminder that yes, my Daddy does do that job for me, that when I need him, when I can't deal with the world, he's there with a shoulder to cry on, and chicken to form a safe space (it's a long story), because that's what Daddies do.
Friday, April 6, 2012
A New Member of the Family
So, over the last couple of weeks, Daddy has been talking to a new girl, with a view to her becoming a slave. It's been interesting for me, but not for the reasons you'd think - it's been interesting mostly because of how uninteresting my reaction has been so far.
Last post I talked about I tended to expect emotions to be hard and complex, especially about my Daddy's breakup, but it turned out that they're not that complex at all, and I think that the New Girl's arrival has caused similarly simple emotions as well. I feel, in no real order, happy that my Daddy may finally be getting the slave that he has been craving, excited that a new person is entering our lives, happy when I see the two together (Compersion, I has it!). There's not a lot of other feelings swooshing about, frankly.
One would think that there'd be a certain degree of jealousy, but regular readers would be aware that I really don't work that way. When Daddy is playing with other people, I know that it's not because our relationship is terrible, and that he's about to break up with me - I've been with my Daddy for a while, and frankly, the likelihood of him breaking up with me over someone else? Remote to non-existent.
I mean, sure, there's always that crazy voice in the back of your head, wondering if Daddy's time is going to be taken up by his new slave, but considering how slowly he's taking this, I don't see that happening, and if it does, I know how to communicate about that sort of thing.
So really, I've just been sitting back and enjoying the journey here. I'm here to support my Daddy no matter what direction this goes, because I've got my place on my Daddy's side.
Last post I talked about I tended to expect emotions to be hard and complex, especially about my Daddy's breakup, but it turned out that they're not that complex at all, and I think that the New Girl's arrival has caused similarly simple emotions as well. I feel, in no real order, happy that my Daddy may finally be getting the slave that he has been craving, excited that a new person is entering our lives, happy when I see the two together (Compersion, I has it!). There's not a lot of other feelings swooshing about, frankly.
One would think that there'd be a certain degree of jealousy, but regular readers would be aware that I really don't work that way. When Daddy is playing with other people, I know that it's not because our relationship is terrible, and that he's about to break up with me - I've been with my Daddy for a while, and frankly, the likelihood of him breaking up with me over someone else? Remote to non-existent.
I mean, sure, there's always that crazy voice in the back of your head, wondering if Daddy's time is going to be taken up by his new slave, but considering how slowly he's taking this, I don't see that happening, and if it does, I know how to communicate about that sort of thing.
So really, I've just been sitting back and enjoying the journey here. I'm here to support my Daddy no matter what direction this goes, because I've got my place on my Daddy's side.
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