Saturday, May 5, 2012

Passion

Daddy and I were talking last night, and he asked me an interesting question: What do I think about all day? I had to admit that I don't exactly think of him all day, and this wasn't the answer he was looking for, because he thinks about me most of his day. It really highlighted a difference between the two of us, specifically that I'm not a particularly passionate person, and Daddy definitely is. Daddy is passionate about his goals and desires, and works so very hard to make them a reality, whereas I'm much more sanguine about my desires and goals. It's something that Daddy has had a lot of issue with, specifically that he's always concerned that my goals have changed significantly since we've been together, mostly because I've started planning my life around him. Now, to me, this isn't a big issue - I have goals and desires in life, but I don't hold onto them with any real force. If things in my life change, I'm much more likely to change my goals, rather than change my life to meet those goals. This has meant, of course, that goals in my life such as raising kids, having pets, going back to uni, etcetera, have all changed when things in my life have made these incompatible goals. I simply don't have a big connection to my goals. I like to have goals in my life, to know where I'm going, but what those goals actually are aren't a big concern to me. This is apparently different to how Daddy works - he couldn't imagine dropping his life goals for people in his life, to just give up on one goal and move on to another. He's kind of the opposite, more likely to change his life to meet his goals and desires. And so when he applies this thinking to me, he's thinking that he's forcing his life onto me, whereas I on the other hand am simply adapting my road to happiness with the world I find myself in. So, some readjustment later, and I think Daddy is slowly understanding that I'm happy to change my goals if necessary, even if he isn't. And to be honest, it's kinda good that it's this way around, the be perfectly honest!

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