Beware of Looking Back...

As I have started to take more effort into my kinky identity, I've begun to notice more and more how my submissive tendencies seem to mold almost every aspect of my life.

But that can be very dangerous thinking. I read recently about Sub Frenzy, and one particular line struck me:

All at once they begin to 'sort' the events and motivations that have occurred over their entire lives. Seeing the patterns, the hints, the presence of their desires in so many different ways. It explains previous unexplainable actions they may have taken and views the actions of themselves and others from an entirely different standpoint

See, if I honestly think back, I recall having fantasies of being a human pet as far back as 5-6 years old. And I'm not even talking about being someone's pet dog, I'm talking full-on, naked-boy being taken in by adults as a real pet human, with roaming around in backyard and dinners in bowls. When I think back, I can recall these fantasies being quite detailed. For most of my life, I have always been a very passive individual, which has lead to me being a victim of childhood teasing for most of my primary and high-school career. In my relationships, I've always been afraid of taking initiative (which has lead to one relationship petering out, and another lasting well after it's time).

When you start looking at all these bits and pieces of my history, you can't help but notice the patterns. It looks like, from square one, that I was destined to be a subbie of some description.

But then, if I decide to look at other parts of my life, I can see that I was never afraid of taking leadership roles if I was confident enough in myself. With my second girlfriend, we started my BDSM experience with me being her dominant in a few scenes, and I definitely enjoyed those times (looking back at those time, my god the things we did, I wouldn't risk doing them the same way now). As much as I don't like making decisions, I can certainly be quite confident in giving people advice (which can be unfortunate, because I often sound quite confident even when I'm totally wrong!).

While exploring my identity as a submissive Boy is all new and exciting at this point, I think it's worth letting myself know that yes, I do have other identities, most of which are quite important to me still, and still make up just as much of me as my kinky identities. I am more than just a Boy, I am a complex human being, and every now and then, it's important to make a point of remembering that.