This week has been a rather quiet one on the kinky front. Me and my Daddy continue to trundle along, so there's not a great deal to report this week, and my experiments in chastity have been put on hold for a while as I recover from the Sickness That Refuses To Die.
So, with no news, I give my dear readers another look into my Various fantasies.
Cage living
As me and Daddy have talked about the various logistics of moving in together, it's brought back to mind going back to sleeping in the cage again. The fantasies around this are pretty simplistic, but adding it to moving in together just adds to it. In my little fantasy world, I see that my bedroom becomes my Cageroom, and I don't really have a bed anymore (my bed becomes the guest bed, or possibly my Daddy's bed - either way, it stops being my general sleeping locale). To be frank, I really, really loved sleeping in the cage, even if it was uncomfortable and hard and cold, and I often woke up during the night, needing to stretch out my knees because they had started to cramp. Sleeping in the cage made me feel more at home than any other protocol that we had set up.
Due to various reasons, I stopped sleeping in the cage, but I still miss it deeply. If it was going to be my sole sleeping accomodation, I'd probably sit down and made some more comfortable bedding for the inside of the cage, because hard steel floors are probably not brilliant for my body, but I can't wait until sleeping in the cage becomes a reality once more.
Being a canvas
I have rather high exhibitionist tendencies. I like being the centre of attention, I like being noticed, and this goes beyond BDSM. It's among the many reasons why I love playing in public with my Daddy - because he gets to show off his skills, and I get to have the fun of being the centre of those skills for a while. I also often have this big desire to be part of the creative process. It's one of the reasons I tend to feel a little odd when I'm watching people I know be really creative - there's a level of jealousy watching people create because that's never been my forte - I don't create things from scratch, I take what others have made and either duplicate or elaborate. Where my Daddy can take components in the kitchen and figure out how to make something new that will taste delicious, I look at what I have, and figure out how to make stuff I already know from what's left over (I'm very much a packet cooker in the kitchen, I rarely make things all the way from scratch).
So, the idea of being a model, or otherwise being within the creation process makes me feel like I'm in the part of the creative process that I desperately want to be part of, but never seem to be able to get myself into. Not just for my Daddy's rope-work, although that's something I do wish we did more often. Also things like being the canvas for body art, or being a model for photography, even if, frankly, I suck at modelling (too much of an exhibitionist, in this case, I can't act natural in front of a camera).
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Random Chastity Thoughts
Earlier in the week, Daddy put the cage back on me, to try for another round. Since it had slipped off the last week, we decided to try a tighter ring and a small spacer. However, we may have picked a too-tight ring - it became uncomfortable much earlier than expected, and we removed the cage after a few days.
However! This round has allowed me to test the cage under more conditions, so, here is my list of things that are easy and hard to do with a chastity device on.
Easy
Hard
In other news, I ended up looking around the web for various chastity resources, and came upon This thread on a Baptist forum, a sudden reminder that for a lot of people, chastity isn't actually kinky - in fact, chastity is considered entirely non-sexual (for obvious reasons). I mean, I know that chastity as a kink is actually only a small sub-section of actual chastity users - chastity is used around the world in a far more serious context. But threads like this just bring it into sharp relief. And also make me glad that I'm in it for the kink reasons!
A brief note: It was pointed out to me that actually, the landover baptist church is a parody. My only defense is that I've seen things much, much weirder that are not parody...
However! This round has allowed me to test the cage under more conditions, so, here is my list of things that are easy and hard to do with a chastity device on.
Easy
- Work. Seriously, don't have a single problem with the thing on while I'm at work. Apparently my work is not sexy in the slightest. Even going to the toilet is not a major issue at all - I just use the stalls, since my work is not exactly NSFW.
- Go to the gym. This was a bit surprising to me at the time, I was expecting a lot more trouble, but strangely enough, having your cock in chastity does absolutely nothing to your gym experience. And of course, I don't where particularly tight pants to the gym, so there's no way anyone around me knows I'm wearing it. It's basically just like a usual work-out.
Hard
- Sleep Uninterruptedly. I can get to sleep with the cage on, not a problem. The trick, is managing to stay asleep when you start randomly getting hard throughout the night. Now, when you're awake, an unexpected hardon isn't a problem - you can just think other thoughts, or do something else, until it goes away. When you're in bed, and all you can focus in is the pain, and you're trying not to stimulate yourself? It's much harder. Especially on very cold nights when you don't want to get out of the covers to walk around to get yourself back down enough to go back to sleep (and of course, this is only temporary - once you start trying to sleep again...).
- Meditation. Mostly because of the above. When I'm meditating, I'm explicitly trying to focus on whatever's going through my head, and what's happening in the now. Well, let me tell you, a cage has this tendency to focus all your thoughts around your penis for the first while. So, when you try to meditate, your thoughts obviously focus on the cage, which makes me aroused which... yeah, you can see where this is going. Although, it may be a great opportunity to learn to meditate through pain...
In other news, I ended up looking around the web for various chastity resources, and came upon This thread on a Baptist forum, a sudden reminder that for a lot of people, chastity isn't actually kinky - in fact, chastity is considered entirely non-sexual (for obvious reasons). I mean, I know that chastity as a kink is actually only a small sub-section of actual chastity users - chastity is used around the world in a far more serious context. But threads like this just bring it into sharp relief. And also make me glad that I'm in it for the kink reasons!
A brief note: It was pointed out to me that actually, the landover baptist church is a parody. My only defense is that I've seen things much, much weirder that are not parody...
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Living with Daddy
Me and my Daddy have recently made the decision to move in together into a new home. This has been a subject that we've been discussing for quite some time, and not one that either of us have entered into lightly.
After all, there are so many issues that could complicate the whole matter. We are both polyamorous, which means that we're likely to bring partners home. Because we're in a D/s relationship, the question of chores and general home maintenance is not straightforward (you'd think it is, but the sub doing all the housework can lead to resentment if not treated sensitively). We also have issues of sleeping arrangements (am I going to start sleeping in the cage again, and is that going to be my regular arrangement, and if so do I still get to keep a bed for if I bring a partner home?). Also, my Daddy has issues living with partners, and I have no experience living with partners whatsoever, so for both of us it's going to be a serious learning curve in getting back to partner living.
But then, there will be so much more positive things to look forward to. I've noticed recently that when my Daddy leaves after we've been together for a while, my mood crashes. It'll be nice to no longer have that crash every week or so. I'll be living in a house where nudity is acceptable. We'll have the chance to have a much larger house between the two of us, rather than mostly just having our rooms. We'll be able to engage in much more play, and much more extended play. It will give us the opportunity to begin building a stronger D/s relationship, maybe even start building protocols between the two of us.
And then there's all the homemakery things that I enjoy so much, like being able to decorate the new place, to have a new kitchen to play around in, maybe even have our own backyard, which will be really nice. All in all, I'm quite looking forward to moving in with my Daddy, even if it won't be for a few months. Even if there are some stumbling blocks in the first few months of living, I have no doubt that we can work through them, as we have worked through the issues we've had throughout this relationship.
After all, there are so many issues that could complicate the whole matter. We are both polyamorous, which means that we're likely to bring partners home. Because we're in a D/s relationship, the question of chores and general home maintenance is not straightforward (you'd think it is, but the sub doing all the housework can lead to resentment if not treated sensitively). We also have issues of sleeping arrangements (am I going to start sleeping in the cage again, and is that going to be my regular arrangement, and if so do I still get to keep a bed for if I bring a partner home?). Also, my Daddy has issues living with partners, and I have no experience living with partners whatsoever, so for both of us it's going to be a serious learning curve in getting back to partner living.
But then, there will be so much more positive things to look forward to. I've noticed recently that when my Daddy leaves after we've been together for a while, my mood crashes. It'll be nice to no longer have that crash every week or so. I'll be living in a house where nudity is acceptable. We'll have the chance to have a much larger house between the two of us, rather than mostly just having our rooms. We'll be able to engage in much more play, and much more extended play. It will give us the opportunity to begin building a stronger D/s relationship, maybe even start building protocols between the two of us.
And then there's all the homemakery things that I enjoy so much, like being able to decorate the new place, to have a new kitchen to play around in, maybe even have our own backyard, which will be really nice. All in all, I'm quite looking forward to moving in with my Daddy, even if it won't be for a few months. Even if there are some stumbling blocks in the first few months of living, I have no doubt that we can work through them, as we have worked through the issues we've had throughout this relationship.
Monday, May 17, 2010
The Collar
So, over the last few weeks, me and Daddy went on a trip to Adelaide for a a funeral. Because we were flying over, Daddy, decided that it was important to take the collar off during the flight. During the flight I had no issues, because I'm a nervous flyer anyway, and didn't really think to worry about it much, but since Daddy decided he wanted to clean the collar before putting it back on me, I spent almost an entire day without it on.
Oh my god it was the most discomforting thing I have had to endure. I was constantly feeling my neck for a lock that wasn't there. I'd gotten so used to having the lock there, that not having it there was entirely alien. I even slept without the collar, and that was really disconcerting.
I think that next time I fly, I'm going to insist that Daddy put the collar back on me as soon as we have our luggage again. Not having that reminder is really, really uncomfortable, and I will have none of it!
Oh my god it was the most discomforting thing I have had to endure. I was constantly feeling my neck for a lock that wasn't there. I'd gotten so used to having the lock there, that not having it there was entirely alien. I even slept without the collar, and that was really disconcerting.
I think that next time I fly, I'm going to insist that Daddy put the collar back on me as soon as we have our luggage again. Not having that reminder is really, really uncomfortable, and I will have none of it!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Interruptions to life
There've been a few interruptions to life in the past week consisting of a death in the family and getting sick, which has pretty much dropped any kink play for the past week, so this week's entry is going to be quite brief. This week, I shall give an affirmation to myself. To show what I am good at, what I have to offer to my Daddy.
I am a boy. I am a boy who loves service, and I love serving my Daddy in particular. I love being there when he needs and/or wants a helping hand. I'm not a jealous boy. When my Daddy takes interest in other people, I know that there is nothing to fear, because he loves me muchly, and he would never intentionally starve me of what I need in our relationship.
I am ever willing to improve. When my Daddy identifies an issue, I am willing to talk about that issue with him, and I am willing to negotiate on how to resolve that issue. I have the ability to communicate with him, even if it's sometimes hard.
I am brave. Many things my Daddy asks me to do are scary, but I am willing to move past my fear and do them for not just him, but also for myself. I fear much, but I am willing to face my fear. Things in my life often cause me strife, bring me pain, or otherwise hurt me, but I am willing and able to push past these things and do what must be done.
These things I hold as good things within myself. For all my faults, these are what make me a good Boy, and a good Person, someone who will be a great boy in his own right, not merely a boy attached to a great Daddy.
I am a boy. I am a boy who loves service, and I love serving my Daddy in particular. I love being there when he needs and/or wants a helping hand. I'm not a jealous boy. When my Daddy takes interest in other people, I know that there is nothing to fear, because he loves me muchly, and he would never intentionally starve me of what I need in our relationship.
I am ever willing to improve. When my Daddy identifies an issue, I am willing to talk about that issue with him, and I am willing to negotiate on how to resolve that issue. I have the ability to communicate with him, even if it's sometimes hard.
I am brave. Many things my Daddy asks me to do are scary, but I am willing to move past my fear and do them for not just him, but also for myself. I fear much, but I am willing to face my fear. Things in my life often cause me strife, bring me pain, or otherwise hurt me, but I am willing and able to push past these things and do what must be done.
These things I hold as good things within myself. For all my faults, these are what make me a good Boy, and a good Person, someone who will be a great boy in his own right, not merely a boy attached to a great Daddy.
Monday, May 3, 2010
A boy with lovely locks...
So, yesterday was the day - we went and got a CB-6000 chastity device. Rather than buy one sight unseen over the internet, we decided to go to a physical store in Melbourne to buy it (we ended up going to Mannhaus, which I cannot strongly recommend enough). After talking with the lovely Richard about various devices, I ended up going for the CB-6000, instead of the Curve. The only thing we were worried about was sizing, but we also wanted something that would be mostly inconspicuous under clothing, so the 6000 it was.
When me and Daddy got home, we decided to try getting it on, which as it turned out was a lot more trouble than imagined. Since, of course, chastity is one of my biggest fantasies, and my Daddy was helping, it meant that getting it on was as much a matter of frantic 2-3 seconds of getting it in, realising we'd missed the opportunity, then waiting for me to calm down enough to give it another try. Still, after a good half an hour of work, we finally reached the point where we could lock it up, and we decided, since it took so much damn effort getting it on in the first place, that we'd keep me locked up for the night as we went out.
So, there were a few things I was expecting, and a few things I wasn't. The big thing I wasn't really expecting was how hyper-aware of your penis it makes you. It's probably just because I'm not used to having a big plastic cage over my penis, but when you're walking around, or sitting down, or doing just about any sort of movement, you're all of a sudden aware of the fact that you're in the cage.
Speaking of the hyperawareness, I kept expecting that people will be able to see the bulges, or otherwise be able to figure it out. I know that it's just anxiety on my behalf - the actual lines of the device are not visible under clothing, not even under my nice-fitting jeans. Not surprising, seeing as that's what we bought them for!
The other thing that I wasn't expecting was how little pain there was when I did get hard in the cage. I was preparing myself for every erection to be a very uncomfortable and horrible affair, but actually it's not terribly difficult at all. It's mostly just a sensation of things being a bit tight, and then it sorta goes away after a while.
I did find that after hugging my Daddy for a while, the 6000 got extremely uncomfortable, and we ended up taking it off for the night. I haven't started wearing it again until this evening, which is when Daddy and I took photos of the device.
Tonight is the night where I'm going to try sleeping with it on. Daddy is trying to ease me into long-term wear, so he's ordered me to take it off in the morning unless it's completely and totally comfortable still in the morning. I admit, I really want to believe that I can keep it on straight off (as it were), but I guess it's a matter of waiting and seeing, really.
It will be interesting to see what happens from here. First I have a lock around my neck, now a lock around my cock. I wonder how many locks I'll be wearing at the end of this journey?
When me and Daddy got home, we decided to try getting it on, which as it turned out was a lot more trouble than imagined. Since, of course, chastity is one of my biggest fantasies, and my Daddy was helping, it meant that getting it on was as much a matter of frantic 2-3 seconds of getting it in, realising we'd missed the opportunity, then waiting for me to calm down enough to give it another try. Still, after a good half an hour of work, we finally reached the point where we could lock it up, and we decided, since it took so much damn effort getting it on in the first place, that we'd keep me locked up for the night as we went out.
So, there were a few things I was expecting, and a few things I wasn't. The big thing I wasn't really expecting was how hyper-aware of your penis it makes you. It's probably just because I'm not used to having a big plastic cage over my penis, but when you're walking around, or sitting down, or doing just about any sort of movement, you're all of a sudden aware of the fact that you're in the cage.
Speaking of the hyperawareness, I kept expecting that people will be able to see the bulges, or otherwise be able to figure it out. I know that it's just anxiety on my behalf - the actual lines of the device are not visible under clothing, not even under my nice-fitting jeans. Not surprising, seeing as that's what we bought them for!
The other thing that I wasn't expecting was how little pain there was when I did get hard in the cage. I was preparing myself for every erection to be a very uncomfortable and horrible affair, but actually it's not terribly difficult at all. It's mostly just a sensation of things being a bit tight, and then it sorta goes away after a while.
I did find that after hugging my Daddy for a while, the 6000 got extremely uncomfortable, and we ended up taking it off for the night. I haven't started wearing it again until this evening, which is when Daddy and I took photos of the device.
Tonight is the night where I'm going to try sleeping with it on. Daddy is trying to ease me into long-term wear, so he's ordered me to take it off in the morning unless it's completely and totally comfortable still in the morning. I admit, I really want to believe that I can keep it on straight off (as it were), but I guess it's a matter of waiting and seeing, really.
It will be interesting to see what happens from here. First I have a lock around my neck, now a lock around my cock. I wonder how many locks I'll be wearing at the end of this journey?
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