The Boy on Sickness and Servitude

I'm guessing that at some point, I'm going to have to ditch the gimmick of everyone one of my posts having "boy" in the title, because this one feels so very artificial, but I digress.

A couple of days ago, after work, I went with my Daddy to visit a bunch of friends, and we ended up having to leave early, because I was incredibly exhausted, more than I would ever be usually from work. My Daddy eventually pointed out the exceedingly obvious - that I was sick, probably with a flu/cold.

I am not good with being sick. In fact, I typically feel extremely guilty and worthless when I'm sick. A lot of this is very mundane issues: I have terrible difficulties slowing down, because much of my way of coping with my life is by filling it up with so much stuff that I don't have to think about it at all. Always constantly moving forward so I never have to look around where I am, so to speak.

And this guilt gets especially compounded when it's added to my BDSM life. When I'm sick, what duties I have have to fall by the wayside - I can't do things like clean my Daddy's place, or make sure that things like blog posts are done on time. In these circumstances, I have to take leave of those duties and focus on getting better, and this feels so wrong on so many levels. I keep feeling like I should do things, even though I know that I don't really have the energy to faff around with things. I feel like when I'm sick, I can't even begin to fulfil my duties as my Daddy's Boy, and even though I have permission to be sick (Not like I could help it even if I didn't), I still feel like my being sick a big imposition on my Daddy. Now I not only can't help him do things, but he has to look after me! That's not right at all! Even though, of course, that's exactly the sort of relationship I wanted when I accepted his collar.

In short, My brain is stupid, and I dislike being sick.