Day 1: Define Yourself

Part of my 30 Days of Kink

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

Right.

Let's get the first one down. I'm a switch, in that I enjoy both being submissive, and being dominant. But I'm definitely not a Top - even when I Dom I much prefer to be the one providing pleasure, rather than the one being given pleasure. Me and Daddy have noted on a couple of occasions that I can be dominant, but I really need to have my subby needs met first. These days I'm getting more dommy urges, but then again I am collared to my Daddy, so I've certainly got my subby needs met right now!

Within that definition, I'm a Boy. I'm not a Slave, or a Submissive, but a Boy. In my case, my service to my Daddy is not about subsuming myself to his desire. I'm a person in my own right, and Daddy would be very displeased if I ever gave that up to him. What I give up, from time to time, in varying amounts, is my adulthood. What my service to my Daddy is is allowing my Daddy to be my main, guiding force for a period. It can, in some cases, be a level of age play, but that's not the thrust of it at all. It's about giving up some of my responsibility to a guardian who will take that responsibility into his own hands, to make me better than I am. It's servitude to a higher goal, Serving to be a better person.

My identity as a Dominant is much less well-defined, however. The only sub I've ever had I didn't have for very long, and so my "style" never really crystallised. I'm sure at some point, when I figure out what I'm looking for, I'll find another sub, maybe at that point I'll start figuring out where I go as a Dominant.

When it comes to the B, D, S & M, I think I'm much more attracted to Bondage and Domination, than the Sadism and Masochism. I love being restricted, both mentally and physically, I like, (paradoxically), the freedom of being caged. I like to think of it like the fear of the blank page. In every step in life, there's myriad possibilities that can go on in the world, and one thing that I appreciate about Kink is that, for a small period of time, I'm cut off from that vortex of possibility, and for once, there's only a few places I can go. Instead of being paralysed by possibility, I can move forward with certainty. There's nothing but the Dominant's instruction, no movement but what the rope master allows, no room but what the cage provides. I can see a single path, and take it without fear or doubt.

And that's my Kinky self and philosophy, laid to bear for you all today.